101 Summer Boredom Busters for Boys

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. -Dorothy Parker

Are you dreading your boys asking to play video games, watch TV, or sit at the computer when they get bored this summer?

I am. They do it now and it’s not even summer yet!

Solution: Have a list at the ready of boredom busters that do not need you to shell out a ton of cash, feel the guilt of putting your boys on screen-time autopilot, and continue to build the curiosity bound up in their heart!

Prime the Curiosity Pump

Spend 15 minutes with your son(s) and talk to them about curiosity and get them excited and renewed in their interest of things outside of games! If you are unsure where to start, consider using the steps below to guide your discussion.

A Fathers Confirmation comes later in life, Not while you are Man Building

As I stood in the lobby at the ice rink watching my son tie the skates of my grandson, my mind wandered back in time some 20 years earlier when I was doing the same exact thing for my son. I remember the early morning hockey games, many before the sunshine appeared for the day, a half-awake boy in the locker room trying to get dressed for the big game. Yes, this was my son, my pride and joy. Little did I know what I was doing at the time, I was just being a father.

As a father, you continue with this routine through his childhood, searching for moments to teach him things he needs to know in life. Did any of this make sense to him you think to yourself, will this be remembered?

Fast forward and now you have your answer, you see it happening before your eyes. My heart jumped for joy to hear my son tell his son,

“My dad did this for me when I was little like you.”

Hearing these words affirmed my efforts as a father, there is no higher compliment a father can get than a statement like that from his son. Well, maybe one, be sure to tell your son you love him so he can pass that love on to his son as well.

Fathers, what I am saying is this, make sure you devote time to your son, teach godly values to them, and teach them to respect other things. In short, “Man Building”, is that not our job as a father?  After your son’s journey through childhood, sit back and observe, especially once he has a son of his own.

It will be during this time that you will get confirmation, not while you are Man Building.

This scene made me proud of who I am and what I stand for in today’s hard world. Did I teach and raise my son correctly?

This scene confirms that fact in the creation of a legacy of ice hockey, passed on for a third generation of Walker boys. I am not sure I will still be around to see the fourth generation, but in my heart, this special scene lives on.

Fathers, it is moments like this, that you should live for, to see your efforts in raising a son, and the transformation to them for raising a son of their own.

Darrell Walker
Proud Father 2013

(Photo credit to Brenda Yoder of Life Beyond the Picket Fence)

Is your Son being Dis-Respectful? Build Respect Today

One of the loudest ways to reach your son is through respect. The old adage “treat others the way you want to be treated” applies here.

Luke 6:31 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

As a mother of 5 boys, I often find myself correcting my sons when they are being dis-respectful or too wild. (Mothers of boys should be able to relate to the wild part!) After the 5^th time of correction in as many minutes, I catch myself becoming disrespectful back to them. Phrases such as “ How many times do I have to tell you?” or “At this age I expect better than this!” become the norm. The reply I get back is either a head hung down in defeat or compliance mixed with semi-controlled anger. Neither of which fixes the heart issue with my son. He feels embarrassed and disrespected and I am left feeling frustrated and guilty.

The Solution

In speaking to a wise friend about this issue she offered me some great advice.

Allow your child to come up with a code word for you to use when they are being disrespectful.

Coming to your child and letting him be a part of deciding the code word shows him that his opinion matters and that he is worthy of respect.

The code word can be simple such as “calm down” or can be a true code word/phrase such as “ it looks like rain today.” Other examples could include:

• Respect please
• Is something wrong?
• The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain
• Purple Tuesday
• Breaking out in an uninhibited rendition of Aretha Franklin’s

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

However, let your child be creative and come up with something that will not embarrass him. Rather, this code word should cue him toward the fact that he needs to change the behavior immediately.

One of our children chose to use the latin word for “be calm”. Using a different language can mask what you are trying to say to outsiders, while still getting the point across to your child.

Tell your son that you will use this word that he has chosen instead of yelling at him or embarrassing him.

The Caveat

He needs to respond in an equally respectful way. When you use your code word he should respond with “yes ma’am” or “thanks for the reminder” or another respectful response.

His responding lets you know that he has heard you and acknowledges the situation and helps build a respectful relationship between you and your son.

Have you tried using a “code word” to address disrespectful behavior in your home? How did your son react?

Spring into the Yard: Teach your son to service a lawn mower!

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.  – Former President John F. Kennedy

If your son is old enough, this activity is a quadruple win!

Teach your son to service your lawn mower this spring and enjoy the benefits.

• Spend time with your son.
  
• Do something manly that involves dirt, grime, oil, sweat, & tools. 
• Your son gains valuable skills he will need one day as a man.
• At some point, he can service the mower without you, reducing your work

Lets get started.

Removing & Sharpening the Blade

If you want that mower to cut well, then at least every year the blade should be sharpened. Take time with your son and explain to him that everything in life requires maintenance if you expect to use it. The harder you work things, the more maintenance they require. He must learn that as the future provider for his family, or even just taking care of himself or the community, it is critical that he take the initiative in maintaining equipment.

If you have a bench grinder, you can sharpen the blade on your own. If you do not, a local lawn mower repair shop will generally do it for less than $10. The key is that you must remove the blade first and take it to them. Your son needs to understand how to remove the blade and replace it at a minimum.

Checkout the video below on removing a blade.

Check and/or Change the Oil

At least once a year the oil should be changed. By teaching your son how to do this on a small lawn mower, he will be prepared for when you teach him how to do it on a vehicle.

Plan ahead and buy your oil and filter to have the supplies ready. This may be a separate manbuilding time with your son compared to when you work on the blade.

Clean the Mower Deck

This task may need to happen more often in certain climates that are wetter or where you have very thick grass to cut. The underside of the mower “cakes” and continues to build, reducing the performance of your cut.

Watch this video to see how to clean the mower deck.

So what did we miss? Depending on your mower or climate, there could be many more tips to share. The important part is to teach your son and spend time with him. Boys need to have these skills passed down from their parents. Share your tips with us!

(Photo credit to Kifo via Flickr Creative Commons)

Improving the Relationship with your Son: Part 5. The Power of Bragging on Your Son

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing and thats why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Your son needs you to compliment him in front of people. Even brag about him in front of them. 

Is it your job to “puff him up”, “make him happy”, or “people please him”?

Absolutely not. 

When you brag on your son, he is

• Affirmed through words as a man in training.
• Encouraged by the compliment paid.
• Recognized publicly for doing something of value.
• Accepted by you.
• Strengthened in his respect of you.

Before you pull away, lets see how you feel in the following scenario.

A Day at Work

The morning was hectic with a rush of work. Already behind on many tasks, the day seems relentless. Your lunch break is short today, only 15 minutes in length. You are sitting with a co-worker and enjoying being away from your work. A few minutes later, the boss walks in. Frustrated by the fact that she represents the workload you feel burdened with today, she is the last person you want to see.

“I know we are behind on the project and you have been busy today,” she says as you feel frustration and excusing welling up in your heart.

Unexpectedly, she places her hand appropriately on your shoulder and begins to speak.

“Without you this place would not be what it is today. I am very impressed by how much effort you have placed into getting the project completed while prioritizing the rest of your work. You have been amazing this week and I appreciate your leadership”, she says removing her hand from your shoulder with a smile.

Almost sounds too good to be true, right? In most workplaces, it is too good to be true. Managers rarely excel on recognizing their employees in a public setting. Perhaps many managers didn’t get this themselves as children?

You can change this. 

How to Brag on Your Son – Who

The art of bragging on your son in front of others is an affirmation of who he is and what he means to you. Brag on him in front of:

• Adults who are of good moral character. – Frequent
• Teachers or Coaches. – Often
• Your adult friends. – Often
• His friends. – Sometimes

How to Brag on Your Son – Where

Be mindful of the conditions. When there is an informal setting of people such as the following you have an opportunity waiting in the wings.

1. Sitting at the dinner table with guests visiting your home.
2. Eating a meal together with others at a restaurant.
3. At the park with friends.
4. Before or after a sporting event in front of his coach.

How to Brag on Your Son – How

Consider using the following phrases. The real truth is that this will just come naturally when the time permits. The important learning lesson is to be mindful that you do it.

1. Last week, Jacob did a great job on his science studies and has shown some improvement. He is really putting effort into his work.
2. I can’t believe the way Jordan acted when he missed that ball. Instead of getting embarrassed or angry, he acted with great character and I’m proud of him.
3. Earlier today, Johnathan told me that he is going to work hard on making his bed consistently. I really appreciate that he takes what I have asked him seriously.
4. Next week, Jonah will be tested for moving up a belt in Karate. He has been asking me to help him drill and prepare. Jonah is really dedicated and I am proud of him for his planning and perseverance.
5. Jared is really great at reading. Just yesterday he read a book with me that was 30 pages long in under an hour. He really does well.

The above examples are only a few of the thousands of possible compliments that could be given to your son.  For more ideas, review the Power of Positive Words. The concept presenting in bragging on your son in front of others is applying compliments in front of others in a special way.

How do you brag on your son? Any scenarios that can help the community of parents?

Add to your Sons tool chest of knowledge – Teach Him to Use a Hammer!

Every boy should know how to use a hammer. This tool is great for construction and destruction!

Does your son like to:

• Tear things down?
• Build things up?
• Be wild and exaggerate activities?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then its time to get out the hammer and have fun!

Get Started – Teach Him Safety & Handling

Teach him how to be safe with the hammer through proper handling and identification of the parts of the hammer. Without this step, he will either hurt himself or you in less than 10 seconds!

Explain to your son that he is to listen very closely to your instructions and not to be too quick. His natural tendency will be to rush straight to hammering and you need to spend about 3-5 minutes explaining the basics to include.

• The Parts of the Hammer
• How to Grip the Hammer
• Where to place your finger on nails when using the Hammer

The Art of Manliness website has an excellent article, Toolmanship Basics: How to Handle a Hammer,  with numerous images of different hammer types and safety skills to consider.  I highly encourage you to check out this article and leave feedback for the Art of Manliness team. You could also show your son the different hammer types and diagram illustration before you start so he can see it visually. Boys not only like to touch stuff, but they are very often visual learners.

Tips for You

1. Be Patient. Depending on his age, he has the potential to interrupt you a hundred times. This is frustrating.  Fight the urge to be cranky.
2. Repeat, then Repeat. He will want to be wild at first. Explain until you are certain he understands.
3. Wear Safety Glasses. Do I always wear safety glasses when using a hammer? No, I do not. The key is you are dressing the part in this play. That is, he feels like it is more serious when he is wearing the safety glasses and will probably think this activity is more serious than what you and I really know that it is!

Get Some Wood and Get After It!

Do you have some scrap wood, two hammers, and a box of nails? That is enough! This activity should be open-ended and fun for both of you. After you explain to him how to safely use the hammer, let him start hammering nails into the wood or trying to join pieces of wood together.

The ManBuilders crew was given scrap wood, tools, nails, and told to be creative. Don’t try to dominate your son unless he is going to hurt himself. Give him the freedom to design and build whatever he wants. Let this be fun!

If you want to get serious and build some cool things, consider the DIY (Do It Yourself) website for kids. The Woodworker patch has 12 challenges and several video resources to include how to build a box, make a doghouse, carve some wood, and many more! This is a great free website that your son can use today and earn patches.

You can also get the free DIY App for iOS devices to easily keep track of activities and enroll your son.

Schedule It

If he likes to use tools or you are just trying to teach the basics,  then schedule it! Put this on your calendar for one Saturday this month or some random night. Make sure you choose a time that you can commit to. Once he learns how to use a hammer and you stop spending your time teaching him/having fun, use this opportunity to listen to what is going on in his life. This is a chance to Earn the Right to Be Heard.

Video Resources

There are a tremendous amount of free resources available for using tools. Here is a good starter video that is short and to the point.

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10 Jobs to Develop a Positive Work Ethic in Your Son: Teach him to Earn it!

“Hard work spotlights the character of people. Some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all. ” – Sam Ewig

Do you ever wonder if your son(s) will adopt a good work ethic when he becomes a man?

You should.

Why would you want to teach your son the value of hard work?

1. Work entitles a man to a reward. That is, the fruit of his labor provides a form of payment, recognition, or reward.
2. Work creates satisfaction in knowing that you have completed a task or series of tasks.
3. Work benefits other people.
4. Work builds character within your son(s). He must learn that “hand-outs” are the exception, not the rule.
5. A variety of work develops a compass within your son that does not put certain work “below him”.

Should I reward him?

Absolutely. You get a reward by doing work, right?

You know your son(s) better than anyone else and should be able to pick an appropriate reward. Here are some tips to get you started.

• A small amount of cash ($1 for small jobs, $5 for bigger jobs, $10-15 for an all day labor intensive throw-down of a job). Use the structure that works best in your home. The amounts above are my opinion and what we do in our home in reference to what we pay for weekly chores.
• A trip to his favorite restaurant for dinner.
• A trip just for yogurt/ice cream.
• A trip to one of his favorite activities (baseball game, movie theatre, trip to the park) or choose from any of these ideas.

How do you teach this?

Get your hands dirty and sweat.

At the writing of this article, it is the springtime in North America. There are a variety of spring jobs that your son can take on temporarily. The key is to schedule the time with your son by getting it on the calendar.

Recently, our sons had the opportunity to earn money at a coworkers home. They spent the afternoon picking up branches, raking leaves, and cleaning up the land. They each were paid for their work with a small amount of cash by my coworker and then I treated them to pizza. They worked really hard and 100% earned it! The pizza never tasted so good.

Jobs List

Some are warm weather and others could apply at any time of year. Remember that boys enjoy spraying water at things!

1. Cleaning the garage.
2. Fixing things you have been putting off.
3. Changing air filters in your home.
4. Spraying the fins on the air conditioning unit with water to remove the dirt and debris.
5. Washing the exterior windows and/or walls of the home.
6. Removing debris on your property such as branches, leaves, trash, toys, etc.
7. Mowing, weed eating, edging the lawn, etc.
8. Washing your vehicles.
9. Cleaning the inside of your vehicles. (Caution, ensure the doors stay open when the weather is hot and do not leave him alone. Being trapped in a hot vehicles for only a few minutes can fatally injure a child.)
10. Working a garden.

In addition to a reward, make sure you provide:

• Verbal recognition through positive words by telling him that he did a good job, stayed with it, or whatever else was commendable.
• A true pat on the back. Really, give him one and encourage him through positive touch.
• A debrief explaining why it was good for him to work today and how he contributed to the family and makes you proud.

So how does hard work look in your home? Any good tips to share with the community? What are age appropriate jobs that you can give to your son to help teach him a positive work ethic?

(Photo credit to Josep Ma.Rosell via Flickr Creative Commons)

Improving the Relationship with your Son: Part 4. The Power of Positive Touch

Many adults know that we show love, care, concern, sympathy, empathy, and many more forms of emotion through positive touch with others. Your son desperately needs you to do this. Connect with him through this simple activity.

Literally. You are connecting your body to your son’s in a way that stimulates emotion. Some scientists have studied the effects and find the following.

“When you get a loving and firm hug, it stimulates pressure receptors under the skin, which in turn send a message to the vagus nerve in your brain. The vagus nerve takes this cue to slow down your heart rate and your blood pressure, putting you in a relaxed state. The hug even curbs stress hormones such as cortisol, facilitates food absorption and the digestion process, and stimulates the release of serotonin, which counteracts pain.” ~ The Connected Child by Karyn B. Purvis, Ph.D., David R. Cross, Ph.D., and Wendy Lyons Sunshine

Even if we didn’t know about the chemical process, it’s just the right thing to do. Knowing both means we should strongly consider how we show this to our children.

So how do you make this happen without being weird?

Consider your son’s personality and let him lead you through the reaction provided during the touch. For example, you are walking to the playground at the park and listening to him go on about Transformers. You lay one of your hands on his shoulder while you are walking. Do this for about three seconds and then remove your hand. If he brushes your hand off of his shoulder immediately, no worries. You can try through another method that has a shorter duration.

The best tip we can give is that while speaking to him, place your hand on his shoulder when the moment is right. Connect with him!

Short-Duration Positive Touch

1. High Fives
2. Fist Bumps (Ask him to make a fist, then you make a fist, and then bump them together. Do this after saying “good job” or providing a compliment based on his action).
3. Body Bumps (Bump your side into his while walking to jostle him a little bit. Do it while joking and make some kind of funny remark.)

Long-Duration Positive Touch

1. Sitting on the couch watching a movie with your arm around him.
2. Giving a hug for any length of time.
3. Rock-Paper-Scissors games

Add to the list. Help out the community and share your tips for showing positive touch with your son while not being a weirdo or making it too obvious.

Join us next week as we finish out the series with Improving the Relationship with Your Son: Part 5. The Power of Bragging on Your Son.

(Photo credit to Design Wallah via Flickr Creative Commons)

Improving the Relationship with your Son: Part 3. The Power of Positive Words

“You have more than got this, and I love you. Be brave!” said the Father to his son just before he stepped into the batters box at the baseball game. He could hear his dad in the background cheering for him as the pressure rushed through his veins and weakness started to overtake his legs. Just then, the young 6-year boy takes a swing at his first slow-pitch baseball game.

“Strike!,” said the umpire as he felt even more pressure.

The next pitch delivers what appeared to be a lightning fast 100 mile per hour ball.

“Strike two!,” said the umpire as the boy felt gripped with fear. “You can do this,” said his father in the background. Quipped with momentary bravery, the young boy took a third swing and didn’t even come close to the ball.

“Strike three, you’re out!” The umpire flexed his arms as he motioned the strike symbol. The young, six-year-old boy felt a sense of shame, humiliation, and disappointment all at once. He began telling himself a dozen reasons why he should not continue on playing baseball. Why he didn’t have what it takes. Just then, a voice from behind the dugout between the rusty chain-link fence startled his thoughts and shook him on the inside.

“Son,” said his father.

“You were very brave just then. Those were some fast balls. Just keep being brave and don’t give up. I love you, and I’m very proud of you.”

All feelings of shame, disappointment, and thoughts of failure seemed to flee. The young boy felt an enormous sense of relief that he knew his father believed in him.

They love it. They need it. Its free. 

So this is all well and good. Sounds like I have it all under control. Don’t be mislead. I’m just onto a really good thing that I know works. Everyone knows that if you find something that works, you keep doing it. If you find success, you keep doing the things that make you successful. This is one of those things.

Schedule it and make it happen!

15 Affirming Phrases

1. You did a great job at…
2. I believe in you…
3. Let’s work on it together, so we can bust it out!
4. I can see you have worked really hard. Thank you!
5. I’m so glad you are my son.
6. Son, you are good at…
7. You used good judgement to solve that problem.
8. I knew you could do it!
9. What do you think the problem is?
10. Let’s try teamwork.
11. Do you have any ideas on how to solve this?
12. I understand what you mean. How would you do it then?
13. Let’s try this again, can you show me your way of doing it?
14. Would you like to hear my idea?
15. That might work. Let’s try it and see.

In our next post, we will review the last in our four-part series, The Power of Positive Touch.

What have been the best phrases for remaining positive with your son? Any tips to share with the community?

(Featured Image Photo Credit to “Mike” Michael L. Baird, via Flicker at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/5087495739/ via Creative Commons Attribution License. For more works by Mr. Baird, visit http://flickr.bairdphotos.com.

Improving the Relationship with your Son: Part 2. The Power of a One-on-One

Author Tim Ferriss blogged on the topic of the reality distortion field and rarity of giving your full attention to another person.

“We are living in a world where no one, it seems, has attention for anyone or anything for more than a few moments. How rare it is when someone pays attention to us. Consider the wording of the phrase: pay attention. In industrialized nations, at least, attention is becoming almost as scarce a resource as money. Someone who “pays” it to you is giving you something of true value.”

Your son should be rich in attention that you pay.

Seriously. My son’s love their one-on-one time with Dad. If I taught them nothing, let alone strategically taught them as you will through using ManBuilders, the one-on-one seals the knowledge of knowing that you love him. More than any skill that can be taught, your love and the quality of your relationship with him is the one that will outlast all others.

You may need some help. My wife has aided me tremendously in keeping me accountable to continue the one-on-ones. With five son’s, it is difficult for me to give each of them one per week. I wish that it could be done, but there just isn’t enough time. So we make sure that every week a different son receives this time. It works out to be roughly one per month, per son. The Law of Proactive scheduling comes into play by posting their schedule on the wall or by letting them know that once a week there is someone who will get a one-on-one.

My sons will tell me when they are close to the month mark from their last one-on-one with me and say “it’s been a while dad” or “we never do one-on-ones” anymore, even though it was just last month. That is how much they crave it!  Not because I’m a superhero, perfect Dad unlike any other. The key is that during our time, no matter what we are doing, my attention is fully glued on them.

They love it.

So this is all well and good. Sounds like I have it all under control. Don’t be mislead. I’m just onto a really good thing that I know works. Everyone knows that if you find something that works, you keep doing it. If you find success, you keep doing the things that make you successful. This is one of those things.

Schedule it and make it happen!

Now for some ideas. Consider choosing from the list of low-moderate-high cost options for having a great one-on-one with your son. You could also reference any of the ManBuilding Ideas.

One-on-One Ideas

Free One-on-One Ideas

• Walk to and then around a local park that has a playground
• Spend time alone with him in his room. Shut the door, play with him, and talk.
• Play make-believe/pretend with him outside and transform this into hide-and-seek.
• Have a scavenger hunt for your son’s favorite toy (indoor or outdoor). Give him a reward when you find it!
• Sing songs together. If you play a musical instrument, let your son join you and sing with you.
• Explore in a patch of woods near your home. Pretend like you are in search of enemy soldiers or animals that you are hunting.

Cheap One-on-One Ideas (low-cost or transportation required

• Have a water balloon fight. Nothing else to say here.
• Paint his face with face paint like a soldier and go on a secret search and destroy mission together at night. Use sticks or dowel rods like guns as you go hunting for the snipe.
• Draw/color together alone and talk about his pictures
• Get out some paint and make a mess together
• Go to the park and have a picnic together while playing his favorite sport.
• Go outside and paint with sidewalk chalk
• Go to the library and let your son pick out books that HE is interested in. Take them home and spend time reading with just him. Make sure you ask him questions about the stories that open his imagination so you can listen.
• Go for a bicycle ride in your neighborhood. If you have a bicycle, ride yours. If not, jog around him and get some exercise!
• Play a board game (no video game). Good games for this age may include Battleship, Shoots and Ladders, CandyLand, and many others. Just look for the age range on the box when selecting the game at the store.
• Build with Legos together.

Moderate Cost One-on-One Ideas (low to moderate cost and transportation almost certainly required)

• Take your son swimming, just you two, and focus on him having a good time. Pretend you are in a water war with each other and encourage his imagination.
• Take your son fishing and don’t expect to fish yourself! This is about his time with you. He will get his line tangled, lose his bait, and require your constant attention. Just plan on doing little fishing yourself and this experience won’t drive you crazy!
• Take your son on a camping trip overnight. This could be in the backyard, on private land, at a local/State park, or in the living room. The key is to have a tent and sleep in it with him. This is a powerful one-on-one for boys. If you can build and safely maintain a fire, even better!

In our next post, we will review the second in our four-part series, The Power of Positive Words. The article will be filled with a variety of ideas you can start using immediately when spending your newly scheduled time with your son.

What have been the best one-on-ones with your son? Any tips to share with the community?

Christ, Family and Martial Arts?

Is there a connection? How can Christian children benefit from Martial Arts?

This article is a special guest post by D.B. Sweet author of the new site under development, dbsweet.com

You say that you keep having nightmares of the children’s church choir concert breaking out into a choreographed rendition of “Kung-Fu Fighting?” You say that you have to keep reminding little Sarah that she is not to karate chop any of the other children in her Sunday School class? You say that Johnny just bought a poster of a screaming, bare-chested Asian man armed with a stick? Well, I have good news for you! There is little chance that your life is destined to turn into a B-rated movie in which the words never match up with the lips of the actors.  

You are probably just a confused parent of a child who has expressed an interest in martial arts. If you are having trouble imagining your sweet, passive child singing in the children’s choir on Wednesdays and kicking other children in the head on Thursdays, I have even more good news for you. Martial arts training and Christian home and church training can coexist and even compliment one another. Coexist, that is, if you approach the issue as informed as you are caring in your role as a Christian parent.

Spreading from the Asian world in the latter part of the twentieth century, martial arts are newcomers to our country. Widespread growth of martial arts schools did not occur in the USA until the 1970’s. Over the last thirty years, martial arts have gone through a culture change of sorts in the United States. Though not universally applauded as positive, these changes have produced styles and associations which are uniquely American. This author has witnessed a new resurgence of schools that teach the positive aspects of martial arts without the religious or cultural overtones that could be objectionable to Christians. These positive aspects include respect, physical fitness, coordination, concentration, self-confidence, and self-control. I have personally witnessed all of these aspects and more developed in scores of children and adults alike, including my own son and myself. This said, I do want to be clear that not all martial arts programs are going to compliment a Christian lifestyle. In order to help you make a wise decision, I have developed the following checklist for comparing the martial arts programs in your area. Use a different color of highlighter for each school in your comparison. Your answers to this checklist can help you determining if Christ and family can blend with any of the martial arts programs in your area.

Lastly, you need to question the contract policy. A good school offers many options for membership. Many schools offer no obligation, “try-out” periods and most offer short-term contracts for the beginning student. Many schools will even have policies to forestall tuition if a medical or other problem keeps the child from attending class for some time. Here again, we are talking about a business, so it is unreasonable to expect a school to give away their services. Also, a good contract should work both ways, providing you the consumer with protection and a clear understanding of services provided. With this said, though, if your school’s contract involves a servitude clause, they may have failed the contract test.

The practice of martial arts is indeed a growing sport in this country. We see depictions, good and bad, all over the media, and we are even now seeing live demonstrations in our local malls and movie theatres. Indeed, martial arts have come to America, and by all indications, they are here to stay. I have personally witnessed the positive benefits of martial arts. I have seen children afflicted with behavioral and medical ailments benefit far beyond their parents’ wildest dreams. I have seen shy children blossom, and I have seen overweight children become fit. I have seen children that had been labeled as “problem children” by teachers and social workers transformed into children with untold promise. I have seen my own child mature into a young man, whom I am proud to say is a student of the martial arts. Can martial arts and Christianity coexist and even compliment one another? I believe it to be so.

(D.B. Sweet is a black belt and certified with the ATA as an instructor trainee in Tae Kwon Do. He is also a Sunday-school teacher and deacon at his home church in Texas where he lives with his wife and two children.)   

Copyright 2006 by D.B. Sweet

Improving the Relationship with your Son: Part 1. Your Schedule.

Worry not about the high cost of building men…but be concerned about the high cost of failing to do so. – Texas Prison Museum Wall Poster

So you have heard a hundred new year’s resolutions that are available. Even I recently posted on ManBuilders.com an article on Making a Commitment Pledge to Your Son. Your time is one of the most valuable things you can ever give to your son.

That’s great and motivational, but now what?

The mission of ManBuilders.com is to provide practical articles that will aid parents & those charged with the responsibility of raising boys with the tools they need. Note

In this first of four part series on improving the relationship with your son, we focus on reviewing your current schedule, looking for gaps/weaknesses, and getting organizing in preparation for strategic scheduling with your son.

In 2013, I am planning on releasing the first of a series of books designed to provide practical guidance and real activities, skills, lessons, events, and ideas that can be used with your son on his journey to becoming a man. To get started, we are providing the framework that you can begin to apply right now to start making progress with your son as you build him into a man.

Think about this like you would complete a project or trying to reach a goal. How do you get there? Is it one big leap or many small advances?

Often times, it is the little things that we do repeatedly that build up on our son(s).

The Law of Proactive Scheduling will be your best friend and has been the single greatest secret in my tool chest for scoring victories with my son(s). Here is the secret: Don’t just make the time, plan the time. Put it on the calendar and commit to doing it!

Tip 1: Review Your Current Schedule and Look for Gaps & Weaknesses

Do you have a schedule? Maybe you have not been this organized. I wasn’t and that’s ok. The irony is that I am very organized in the workplace and often serve as a project manager leading a variety of information technology projects. I know what it takes to be organized when I wear my workplace hat. However, my Strategic Father hat was not nearly as organized and it needed to be.

Think about what you’re recurring commitments are in a month and ask yourself these questions:

1. What does my work schedule normally look like? (e.g. Monday through Friday, 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.
2. What nights /days do I have commitments that I have to or really should attend? (e.g. Sports games, sports practices, community service, church, date nights, etc)
3. What nights / days do I have commitments that I like to attend, but could drop if needed? (e.g. Hanging out with a friend,  thirsty Thursday, adult softball league, etc)
4. When do I like to rest and unwind? (e.g. Sunday afternoons, Tuesday nights, etc)

After you have reviewed your schedule, look for areas where you have free time. If you have very little free time, think about what you could drop that is not benefiting the relationship with your son. Perhaps you have been selfish in a certain area of your life. Replacing that selfish activity via quality time with your son is an investment that will pay long-term dividends.

Tip 2: Be Real

Seriously, be real. Let me explain.

You are not superman or superwoman. There are only so many hours in the day. When I attempt to find time slots that I could spend with my son and place them too close to work or other activities that keep me busy, I am more stressed because things happen and time runs over. Sometimes you are:

• Late coming home from work
• Spent too long at the store
• Your son has poor behavior and requires a lot of time correcting him
• You are just plain tired from doing something else. Period.

So be real. Do not write down potential time slots as “free time” if they are stacked too close to other activities that might cause you to stress, be late, or otherwise let down your son. I have let down each of my 5 sons more than once and it is a terrible feeling. Sometimes, things just happen and you really couldn’t help it. Write down free time that has a good chance of really happening.

Take Action:

• Low-tech. Buy a cheap, 22 x 17 inch calendar. The At-a-glance calendar is a great option and can be found for under $5 on Amazon.com. I recommend this calendar as the days have lines that you can write in easily. The advantage with this method is that it is quick to use, cheap, and easy to come buy. No matter where you are in the world, this will work. No internet connection required.
• Medium-tech. Use a calendar service such as Google Calendar, Microsoft Outlook, or Mozilla Sunbird. The Google Calendar and Mozilla Sunbird applications are free, web-based utilities that live in the cloud. Microsoft Outlook must be purchased, but can also be installed on your Mac, PC, tablet, or smart phone.
• High-tech. If you have an Apple iPad or Android-based tablet, consider using a good calendar app. There are truly hundreds to choose from. However, my recommendation is to use the built-in calendar feature and synchronize this with your Google Calendar or Microsoft Outlook calendar. You can read Michael Hyatt’s How to Setup Google Calendar on Your iPhone as a quick and easy resource to get configured. This way you have both mobile and pc/mac access to your calendar with reminders if needed. A great article on using high-tech means to keep your life in sync is found on the Time Management Ninja website, titled 12 Apps to Keep Your Life in Sync and is worth a review.

In our next post, we will review the second in our four-part series, The Power of a One-on-One. The article will be filled with a variety of ideas you can start using immediately when spending your newly scheduled time with your son.

How do you find time in your schedule to meet with your son? Any tips to share with the community?

Make a commitment pledge to your son in 2013.

There are many resolutions floating around the internet. One of the most important is committing to a deep relationship with your son.

Taking the time to develop a deep relationship with your son is crucial. It is never too late!

A good friend of the ManBuilders team wrote this letter to his 20-year old son. We have removed the names to protect the identity and ensure privacy. Notice the sincerity, humility, love, and transparency in the fathers heart toward his son. Read this letter and ask yourself some deep questions this new year.

Before you read, do not judge this Father or cast him down. Rather, consider that this happens to even the best of Fathers. All boys are different and many choose a rough road to walk as they become men, regardless of what they are taught.

A Letter to My Son

To my son,

By turning 20 last week, you now have begun the transition to manhood. It is a scary step to take…I know, I had the same experience some 25 years ago, believe it or not. You feel like you don’t know what to expect, who to trust, or who to listen to for advice, etc…you are alone in the tough, hard and cruel world. It was my job as a father to prepare you for manhood, but I failed you in that process. My idea was to let you be free-spirited, come and go as you please, I wanted you to not have to go through all the strict discipline I had too. In doing this, your mother and I let you pretty much do what you wanted, with whom you wanted, when you wanted. That was wrong of us.  What you needed was structure. Although your mother and I provided for you and attended many events with you, we never let you take the hard road…we always shielded you from it. Now, becoming a man, you are hitting it head-on, and life is making you angry, frustrated, scared, fearful and anxious.

A lot of your anger I’m sure is geared towards me and how I treated your mother a number of years during our marriage together. I was so wrong in setting a bad example for you. You can see that what I did hurt your mother greatly and almost ruined our marriage. Please don’t let that build up anger in you, but learn from it in what not to do in your relationships. Your mother and I had a life-changing experience this last weekend and we both now realized where we failed each other and where we have failed you. We are very sorry for this and ask for your forgiveness. I ask for your forgiveness for failing you as a father. Nothing can or will ever take my love for you away…please know and understand that.

Your mother and I are very concerned about you and want to share what we feel are the answers that will relieve you of your anger, frustration and pain if you are willing to do a little work on your part. See, becoming a man in the real-world requires making relationships, so learning the correct way to deal with relationships is the key to your happiness and successful life as a man, and eventually a father some day. Do not screw it up like I have. Listen to what your mother and I are saying to you now. If you want to be happy and have no anger or frustration, and have meaningful relationships with people, listen and make the commitment on your part.

Before I share those answers with you, let me set the tone. Your brother, PRIVATE NAME, is not your enemy, he is your loving half-brother and he wants so badly to be in a relationship with you as a brother. Jealousy and anger is what your mother and I are seeing in this relationship. Your relationship with PRIVATE NAME (and/or other girls…); they are not your enemy. Those relationships always seem frustrating for you and I don’t want you to get the bad habits I have and now have to break for your mother’s sake. I want to save you from the agony I’m going through now. Your relationship with your co-workers and bosses all seem to cause you to be full of anger at times, they are also not your enemy.

See the thing that starts to happen when you let all this anger, frustration and pain buildup inside you is that you begin to have voids in your life, you are not fulfilled. You then start filling those voids with the wrong things…drinking, drugs, fighting, and tyranny towards others in your relationships. Very bad things will start to happen to you if you do not recognize this soon. Your mother and I do not want that to happen to you because we worked so hard to bring you into the world, we just failed at preparing you for it, but we can help you.

Your mother and I both learned last weekend the two most important things in your life when it comes to having good relationships. These two things I’m so ashamed of myself for not knowing them sooner and being able to give them to you earlier, but the good news is that we can give them to you now. Again, you have to listen and make the commitment on your part. Are you ready to accept that challenge?

First, you must rekindle your spiritual connections with God. This is another part of being a father where I failed you. I did not properly provide for your spiritual needs as a child and I am so sorry to be causing this pain and anger that you are having now due to my negligence. Talk to God, he listens and will comfort you if you let him. Your mother and I pray for you daily and will continue to do so. This doesn’t mean you have to start going to church, although I can tell you that helps to get you in the right environment to where you can start talking to God on a regular basis.

Secondly, you will have to learn to forgive. Forgive those who have done you wrong, including me, your father. See when your mother and I brought you into this world as a child we were really just tending to you until you become a man. Now that you are a man, you have a great responsibility to burden. You have choices to make and those choices have consequences associated with them; make bad decisions and bad consequences will result. Always remember that. So then, you say how do I know if I’m making the right decision? Talk to God, he will not lead you astray. Funny how these two things relate isn’t it.

See the enemy is the world we live in. It is full of false perceptions and hatred. Satan is the ruler of the world as we experience it. The only person that can protect you from this and make you over-come your anger, pain and frustrations, is your spiritual relationship with God. Son, your mother and I love you so very much and we will always be there for you, but as a man, only God can protect you from the world. You need to be able to reach out to us and talk to us, but you must talk to God as well. Promise us right now that you will take the challenge as I have laid it out above and make the commitment to better your life. I love you with all my heart and your mother loves you with all her heart. We both will continue to pray for you each and every day.

Your loving father,

Dad

What will you do to commit to your son in 2013?

• Are you actively engaging your son in a relationship that will endure difficult times?
• Are you watching his development and intervening as you see character problems in his heart?
• Do you have a plan for how to lead him toward authentic manhood?
• Is your own house in order so as to set the right example for him? (work, marriage, addictions, etc)

Take time during the first week of 2013 and really examine where you stand with your son. Make a new commitment to him fresh this year and back it up with action. ManBuilders will continue to post practical articles to aid you in leading your son in providing everything he needs to know on becoming a man.

Book Review: Father Hunger, Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead Their Families

Sitting in your chair browsing the internet, eyes firmly affixed to the screen, you hear the sound of rushing water. The sound has a low, yet ominous rumble that raises caution in your heart. You turn to look in the direction where you hear it growing louder, louder, then suddenly, a splash! Cold water pours into your face as you suddenly feel the weight of an ocean atop your shoulders.

In the book, Father Hunger: Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead Their Families (Thomas Nelson, 2012), author and theologian Douglas Wilson leads men on a journey that provides a compelling wake-up call with frightening statistics and implications for the phenomenon of absentee Fathers on a grand macroeconomic scale.

Are you:

• Curious about what all the be a better dad talk is all about?
• Want to know how you can get started in practical ways for improving your relationship with your children?
• Desiring to find a motivational or lite read on the topic of Fatherhood?

If this is you, then don’t read this book.

Unless you are specifically looking to be challenged, convicted, proved of your mistakes as a father with biblical facts, and shown the long-term economic and political consequences of missing the mark as a Father then read on.

Father Hunger provides a wide variety, a survey of sorts. Douglas Wilson uses artist’s thick brush to paint wide-strokes that highlight the underlying causes of the current father crisis in America. The book lacks many specific, practical, firm examples of how to break free of negative fatherhood cycles. However, there are statistics abounding and scriptural verses in plenty that force fathers to think and dig-in to where they stand on specific topics from a father’s perspective such as work, gender roles (masculinity versus femininity), politics, family discipline, and the economic value of the family.

One of the core arguments of the book is that fathers are asleep at the wheel of their family leadership all while our culture is changing toward a model that does not allow the father to lead as he was designed by God to lead, placing him in the backseat of a runaway car. Advocating that a man must pick up his responsibility to the family and in doing so, become a pillar within society.

Fathers are important and create a Molecular backbone to society. When men are responsible, sober, hard-working members of their local communities – self-restrained – this creates pockets of personal responsibility that the state does not easily control.

When a man picks up responsibility with the intention of being serious about it, he soon finds himself living as a pillar in the family, in the church, in the community.

It can be argued that the family is under attack in America, and in specific, the role of the Father or his lack thereof is frequently questioned. Television shows depict men as “bumbling idiots” or “sex crazed” to the exclusion of every other thing in their life. Sure, men may go to work, but once they get home it’s time for TV, back-talking kids with video game controllers in hand, and sex if they are lucky. Father hunger works to display these common deceptions within the media for what they are, revealing that these are  attack’s on Fatherhood in order to cause a quick laugh a make a buck. The revelation of the extensive media reach against the family, namely the Father, is one of the strongest points in the book.

There are some golden nuggets that provide thought for the family battleground. Wilson writes of fathers who are prideful and put their children down.

Another problem is pride. Say that a young son is acting up in public settings and embarrassing his father. The father knows there is a serious problem and he finds himself making excuses to people for his sons behavior, but he doesn’t actually do anything about the problem. He is not trying to help his son, but rather he is trying to smooth over awkward situations for himself. The central problem in this situation is pride – the fathers.

Points like this are common examples that many Fathers have felt in the past, as it is easy to walk away and ignore problems with your children and make excuses than it is to deal directly with the root cause. The other side of the coin comes in one of the most profound pieces of positive encouragement to address family problems by saying, “Men don’t carry things because they happen to have broad shoulders. They have broad shoulders because God created them to carry things”.

Men need motivation, encouragement, integrity, consistency, positive influence from their wife, support from other men, and a grounded heart that lovingly desires to lead their children as part of their journey through fatherhood. For men looking to get started, avoid this book. Check-out Raising a Modern Day Knight, by Robert Lewis. His book will provide powerful examples, stories, encouragement, and some general guidelines for building a relationship with your son.

If you are already sold on the need for being a biblical father and are looking for a deep diving, sober splash of water, then read this book and drink in the many solid points. Stand firm in knowing who you work for.

A father should bring home the bread of course. But he should also provide for his family an example for living like a Christian, resisting all attempts of Corporate America to press him into its mold (rom 12:1-1), seeing Christ in all the clients and customers, and laboring in such a way that would not embarrass him if summoned to do work for a King. For come to think of it, he is working for the a King (col 3:22)

If you already know your role as a Father, then save the time spent on reading this book and take your son or daughter for a special one-on-one time with Dad. If you need some hard hitting conviction as a father with proof to back it, then go grab a copy.

Special Article: Make a Cheap Christmas Ornament with your Son!

Every boy does not need to know how to make an ornament to become a man.

Alright, were past that.

My wife put together one of the best homemade Christmas ornaments I have ever seen. If you want to do a Christmas craft with your son this Christmas, consider making this ornament.

BIG HINT: You could change the colors out to dark blue, red, or black to make it manly!

Total Cost = $10 on average (could be less depending on what you have around the home)
Makes 4-8 Ornaments.

Gather Supplies

• Hot Glue Gun
• Hot Glue Sticks
• Clear Ornaments ($1 for 4 if you find on clearance)
• Feathers ($2 at Walmart, but you will use so few from the bag, try to find some around the house)
• Ribbon ($1.50 a roll)
• Kosher Salt ($2-3)
• Colored rocks or beads (look through an old jewelry box for unused beads or broken jewelry)
• Colored Wire ($2)

Now Let’s Build Your Chirstmas Angel Ornament!

1. Gather the supplies for your project and arrange.

2. Fill the ornament with Kosher Salt and a mix of beads. You can mix colors, shapes, sizes, or whatever you have lying around.

3. Cut ribbon for the angel to desired length. We recommend 3-4 inches.

4. Cut two strips of wire for the angel tassels and one strip to run beads through for the angels head.

5. Arrange the bow, wire tassels, feather, and ribbon tassels together. You can glue them to the back of the bow.

6. Take a piece of spare ribbon and wrap around the wire of the angels head. Use hot glue to seal the ribbon once it is fully wrapped around.

7. Hot glue the angel head wire with the ribbon wrapped around from the previous step onto the bow.

7A. Hot glue while holding pressure on the bow.

8. Hot glue the bow to the ornament and press firmly. Be careful not to burn your fingers from the hot glue squeezing out of the sides.

9. Once the hot glue has dried, pickup the ornament from the lace hook and test to ensure the glue holds the bow to the ornament. To add an extra special touch, use a craft pen to write a message or a name on the ornament.

Merry Christmas! Please share this on Pinterest and social media to help get this easy and cheap craft for Christmas out!

A Hunting we will Go: Part 4. Every boy should know how to clean and store a firearm.

Ok, we know. Maybe every boy doesn’t need to know how to clean and store a firearm to become a man. If you have followed this series to this point and agree with target shooting, then it is a necessary skill. 

Taking the time to teach your son how to clean and store his firearm will give at least three benefits. He might find it boring, but he needs to learn it. Who knows, he might really like it!

• A respect for what he owns or what you own as a family.
• Development of the proper habit for cleaning and storing firearms after their use.
• Spending time with your son. This is a gimme!

Supplies Needed

If you own a firearm, there is a good chance you already have these items. If not, all the items can be purchased locally or found in your home.

• Gun cleaning kit. Kits are sold based on the type of firearm (rifle, shotgun, pistol, etc)
• Old table-cloth, sheet, or blanket
• Extra cleaning wipes/patches
• Hand wipes for your fingers
• Fan

Start with Safety

Noticing a theme with this series? We recognize that hunting and the use of firearms has a negative opinion with many people and for good reason! The improper use and lack of knowledge has resulted in many injuries including death. The theme is and should always be “safety” when having anything to do with hunting or using firearms.

With your son, do the following steps.

1. Ask for his full attention and make sure he wants to do it. Explain that his attention to detail and taking it slow is critical. Boys love to move and be busy, so make sure you have his focus.
2. Ensure the safety catch is on to prevent the trigger from firing.
3. Remove or eject the clip that has ammunition.
4. Visibly look and verify that no ammunition is in the rifle or firearm. Pull the bolt, lever, or break and make 100% sure that no ammunition is visible.

Now, turn and have your son (if he is mature enough) repeat the steps above. You may place the clip back into the firearm as long as it is empty.

Prepare the Area

Go to your spare room, garage, or private location in your home where you can have no distractions. Make sure this room has a table. Lay a cloth or old blanket out on the table.

1. Point the muzzle of the gun in a safe direction.
2. Clear the room and table of all ammunition.
3. Setup a fan and have air circulating in the room. If the weather permits, open a window to the room. The cleaning solvents can become very strong in the room. Keep your son from being overwhelmed with the fumes.

Follow Instructions

ManBuilders will not attempt to take the place of proper cleaning instructions. Every gun requires a slightly different approach. We recommend that you refer to your gun cleaning kit or the firearm manual that came with your purchase. If you do not have that manual, you can find the manual online in most cases.

Resources

Checkout this detailed video on cleaning a rifle by Down East Gunworks.

Need a gun cleaning kit or some written instructions on gun cleaning?
Gun Cleaning Kits

How to Maintain a Rifle

So how did it go with your son? Any tips on cleaning your firearms with your son that would benefit others?

Take a breather and get your trophy. Enjoy the Parent Rap!

Dad, Mom, you don’t give yourself enough credit. Take 3 minutes and get a laugh today!

This Parenting rap video brought to you by Bluefish TV’s parenting series: It Starts at Home with Matt Chandler & Gary Thomas via RightNowMedia.Org. No partnership or monetary gain has been provided between ManBuilders.Com and RightNowMedia. All rights are reserved by RightNowMedia.

A Hunting we will go: Part 3. Every boy should experience target shooting.

Boys love to shoot stuff. The training is the tough part, the shooting is the fun part.

In our previous two articles of this series, we reviewed the many benefits to safe firearm and hunting practices. Your son needs to know how to safely use a firearm (rifle for the purpose of our series) and will likely enjoy the experience of spending time with you shooting a firearm.

Get Ready

Go to the store together. To help build up for the event, I made sure my older boys were with me when I purchased the “22″ ammunition at our local gun store. In our case, we used a Remington 597, .223 Rifle (common “22″ Rifle) for our target practice. While there, I had the chance to show them the variety of ammunition available and let them look at different firearms. This gave my boys some of the “awe” factor that there are so many different guns and they have distinct purposes. However, don’t linger too long here unless your son is older (age 10+) as the fun is shooting, not buying ammo at the store.

Print free target printables. If you have a reliable printer at home, there is no need to purchase targets at the store. Save your money and take your son to eat at a restaurant after you are finished shooting.

Privately check your gun for cleanliness and obstructions. In your spare time before the event, do the following:

• Determine if there is oil buildup or the firearm needs to be cleaned again (especially if the gun was fired and then stored without cleaning).
• Make sure there are not objects in the barrell.
• Ensure that the gun is unloaded and the clip removed.
• Store your gun in a gun case or carrying case to have ready for the trip.

Know your location. If you find that you are unable to go target shooting on the big day, your son will be greatly let down. If this is his first time, do your best to make sure you have a location. If you live on private land, this may be as simple as going out on your land. In my case, I have a friend whose family owns land outside of Navasota, Texas, and has generously approved a location on their land for target practice. I always make sure to call him up earlier in the week and see if he can make time with me and the boys or if we can go on his land without him.

Target practice in the outdoors, on private land, is my personal preference. This makes for a special experience that is free from distractions and gives you a good one-on-one time. However, this is not always possible. Find a local outdoor shooting range or indoor shooting range (especially if you live in a densely urban area) before the big day. Make sure they are open during the time you want to go and have money to pay their fees.

Pack for it. If going on private land, plan like you would for a small-scale camping trip. Consider packing the following items:

• Cooler for drinks and snacks.
• Collapseable chair.
• Target stand. Alternatively, bring a hammer and some small tack nails to nail your target. Be sure to remove nails from trees.
• Grocery store sacks. One of the thousands of re-uses for grocery store sacks. Use these to pickup spent ammunition cartridges so you don’t litter on the land and pickup your trash.
• Gun cleaning kit, pliers, small screwdrivers. Just in case you get a jam or need to clean your gun on the spot. This could save the day.
• Orange vest(s). Anytime you are out in the woods with your son(s), make sure there are orange vests on hand for them to wear if possible.
• Ear protection. Nothing fancy. Disposable ear plugs can normally be purchased for $3 or less for a pair.
• Eye protection. Nothing fancy here as well. Safety glasses can normally be purchased for $5 or less for a pair and can be found in the lawn and garden section of a hardware store or at a gun store.
• Stand. Build your own stand for cheap or bring something to put targets on to avoid placing nails into a tree.

The Big Day: Shooting Instruction

Ammunition

Remind your son of how to safely load your firearm. Our “22″ rifle has a 10-round clip. My first step is to allow my son(s) to load the rounds into the clip. Show them how to safely load the rounds into the clip and load the clip into the rifle.

Teaching Points of Firearm Safety

• Keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction at all times.
• Treat every firearm like it is loaded.
• Be sure of the target and what is in front of it and behind it.
• Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot.
• Make sure there are no obstructions in the barrell (like dirt).
• Unload the firearm when not in use.
• Point your firearm only at an object you intend to shoot.
• Don’t run, jump, or climb with a loaded firearm. This is really important for boys!
• Shooting. There are several shooting positions that are available. Most likely, your son will want to shoot in the “standing” position since it is comfortable and convenient. Teach him that there are alternatives.

Prone. The steadiest of the positions. Instruct your son to lie down on his belly and spread his legs apart slightly. This will allow him to be very steady. Teach him to control his breathing and to gently squeeze the trigger.

Sitting. Instruct your son to sit on his bottom with his legs crossed. Then, slowly help him raise his legs up slightly and rest his elbows on his knees. This is a very steady position. However, for young boys this may be too heavy for them. Have your son sit with his back up against a tree to take the strain off of his abdominal muscles.

Kneeling. Tell your son to put one knee down on the ground and one knee up. He can then rest his elbow on the knee that is up. This position is not very steady, but it can be utilized quickly if you see an animal and need to crouch down.

Standing. The most common and unstready position. He will likely want to shoot nearly all of his shots while standing. There is nothing wrong with this, however, he may be frustrated by his shooting accuracy and grow frustrated with the weight of the firearm. Unless your son is a teenager, his arms will become fatigued after 10-15 minutes of shooting. Rotate other positions to help take the pressure away from his arms.

ManBuilding Tips

From our experience prior to writing this article, these points may be helpful.

Shooting Resources

How did your shooting experience go? Any good tips to pass along to the community to help the experience go better with your son?

A Hunting We will Go: Part 2. Take your son to a Hunters Education Course

Whether you agree with hunting or are opposed to hunting, every boy should complete a Hunters Education course.

Why is this important for your son(s) to complete?

• Gain a thorough awareness of firearm safety.
• Understand responsible hunting practices and recognize actions that give hunting a poor image.
• Give your son the opportunity to develop an interest for nature, hunting, and the outdoors.
• Provide a respect for the environment and our natural resources.
• Recognize the potential benefits of hunting to wildlife populations.

Hunter education programs began in New York State in 1949 to reduce hunting incidents by providing firearm safety training. Later, the International Hunter Education Association was founded and a core curriculum was established. Hunter education programs teach hunters of all ages the practice of firearm and hunting safety. The real benefit to your son is not just this core, but an expansion into producing young hunters to become knowledgeable and resonsible by understanding the importance of complying with hunting laws and acting in a ethical way in our environment.How great for your son that Hunter Education programs exist and are very reasonable in price ($15 on average per course) given how much is needed for your son to become a responsible hunter.

Your son needs to understand that hunting is much, much more than just harvesting an animal. The harvest is only the outcome of applying the proper attitude and understanding that comes with such a great privilege (not a right) as hunting.

Does your son became a superstar sportsman by attending one course?

Forget about it.

Deep breath. It’s ok. This is natural and takes time. It is important just to get started.

Stages of a Hunter
The first time my oldest son Jacob and I enjoyed a hunting trip I was disappointed at his constant desire to shoot stuff. Seriously. If it moved, it was dead in his eyes. If it was shiny and looked like it needed a hole in it, he was ready to fire. It wasn’t until I experienced a Hunter Education course (which was a refresher course for me), that I was reminded of the stages that a hunter goes through.
My blood pressure lowered and I fully understood that it was my responsibility to guide him through the stages.

• Shooting Stage. Boys love to shoot things. The first hunt with him will be all about the bang! He would love to shoot an animal, but he really just wants to shoot stuff. Mailboxes, stop signs, birds, even grasshoppers are in his sights. Remember, it is natural for him to be in this stage. However, he can’t stay where he is at.
• Limiting Out Stage. Boys love to shoot lots of things. Especially if it is alive. This stage is about harvesting an animal and if he has his way, lots of animals! Sure, it is great to harvest an animal and have food to provide. However, it is not about the numbers. This is probably the best opportunity of hunting with your son as you have the chance to explain that it isn’t just about harvesting an animal. Yet, this will tire you with his disappointment and lack of being grateful for the chance just to go hunting. Keep him moving forward.
• Trophy Stage. Boys love to shoot the best animals. For deer hunters, harvesting a mature buck that is 160lbs with 12-points that would make Teddy Roosevelt jealous from the trophy on the wall is what he is after. Boys really need to move out of this stage, as the result is almost always disappointment even when he has the privilege to harvest a legal animal.
• Method Stage. Boys love to shoot things in a special way with a technique that rivals Ted Nugent. It is generally argued that a boy should not stay in this stage. I disagree. This stage borderlines into the next stage and is generally a very responsible approach to hunting. Your son may stay in this stage for a long-time. At the time of this writing, I do not yet have any boys in this stage (oldest son is age 11).
• Sportsman and Give Back Stage. This is a mature boy who should probably be called a young man or even a man by this point. The focus is more on conservation, what the wildlife need to stay vibrant in the area, following hunting laws and rules, respecting property, and making sure safety is enforced. These hunters teach younger hunters and work to bring them toward this level. As a parent, we should always be striving to move boys into this stage. Be patient. It will take several years and experiences to get him here.

Teach Him the 4 C’s

It is hard for boys to remember the world of knowledge that is applied into wisdom over many years of hunting. Giving him a simple approach by memorizing the 4 C’s will help him have a respect for wildlife, the environment, other hunters, and himself. My son Jordan (age 9) was able to remember these and apply them.

1. Careful. The key to proper hunting is being careful. This is the core. Hunting can become very dangerous. It is a privilege that is removed the moment you stop being careful. Safety first, especially when inconvenient. It is the moments where safety becomes inconvenient that you need it the most.
2. Considerate. Remain fully considerate of land, wildlife, homes, and laws in all actions that you take. Furthermore, not everyone approves of hunting and that should be respected. Don’t drive down the road with wildlife in the back of your truck that can be seen by other drivers. They should be fully covered and out of sight from the public.
3. Courteous. What a great opportunity to teach your son courtesy through hunting.You have a responsibility to the people you are hunting with, the landowner, the environment, or others who are hunting on the same land.  I’ll show you how below.
4. Capable. Boys must be capable of applying the knowledge learned through the Hunter Education course and experiences you have provided. Basically, is he mature enough to do what has been taught to him.

How could you apply the 4 C’s

When I lived in Arkansas, a family living in a rural area north of Rector, Arkansas allowed me to hunt white-tailed deer on their land. Cattle was raised on their land. It was important that gates were locked after we passed through to avoid cattle from running loose (Considerate). We would always hunt pointing away from the cattle pens and their home (Careful). If we harvested a deer, I always gave them a portion of the meat. They loved deer sausage and would receive several pounds of meat (Courteous). During the experience, I used it to teach my son these principles to help him grow to become more of a responsible hunter (Capable).

Our Hunters Education Experience
The Texas Parks and Wildlife Association provides numerous Hunter Education courses throughout the state of Texas. Hunters Education is required for youth hunters ages 9 and up. Instructor John Polasek, a veteran Instructor with 135 classes delivered and over 2500 students trained since 1990 provided the course at a City of College Station, TX, Parks and Recreation building.
The 10-hour, 2-Day course contained a diverse group of men, women, boys, and girls compromised of different ethnic origins. During the course, the participants had the opportunity to view and touch a variety of hunting equipment and apparel to provide a hands-on experience. Boys love to touch things! My son Jordan enjoyed holding rifle cartridges, the skeets used as part of skeet shooting, topgraphical maps, gun-powder, and a hunting scope.
As with any course where an exam is at the end, there is a bit of anxiety throughout the group. Fortunately, Instructor Polasek set fears aside for the group up front to help course participants be at ease. During the first slide of his presentation, tone was set for the exam.

If I had to guess, the majority of you would make between a 70%-85% on the exam if you took it right now. This course and the exam is mostly common sense knowledge and the right thing to do. The State of Texas is here to make sure you know these things, not just think them. – Hunters Education Instructor, John Polasek

The second day of training ended with a ready, yet apprehensive group ready to take the exam and earn their certification. My son Jordan (Age 9) was not certain before the exam. I used the time to remind him that he is capable and did a good job of paying attention and taking notes. An hour later he was graded and lit up like he had just received a birthday present when he passed the exam.

I passed! I think I even scored higher than my brother! – Jordan Kissee

Resources
Get started with teaching your son hunting and firearm safety through a Hunter Education course if he is 9 years-old and above. There are also many resources available to help you get started with your son.

International Hunter Education Association

National Shooting Sports Foundation

The Izaak Walton League of America

National Rifle Association

Ducks Unlimited 

Whitetails Unlimited

Waterfowl USA

Do you have a Hunter Education course experience to share? Even if you do not agree with hunting, would this course could be important for every boy to know on his way to becoming a man?

Boys Love Trains! Take your son on a train ride during the Holiday Season

A special guest post by Darrell Walker on spending quality time with your son on a train ride. No age minimums, no quality time maximums.

Our trip starts with my father arriving at 8:00 AM at my house to take my son and myself for the one hour drive to Temple, Texas. Temple is the closest station to our house and once there, we will be catching the Texas Eagle train headed to Chicago. I had done this trip three years earlier and found it to be much more relaxing than flying and something that everyone should experience once in their lifetime, especially father and son.

After a short twenty-minute drive, we arrive in Hearne, Texas. Hearne is better known as the railroad crossroad of Texas, as back in the day, Burlington Northern, Missouri Pacific, Sothern Pacific, Santa Fe, and Union Pacific railways all interchanged with each other here. As I gazed at some of the train cars stationed on the tracks, I began to wonder about the upcoming venture with my son.

We finish a quick breakfast and continue down the highway eventually arriving at the Temple depot around 10:00 AM, a good hour and a half before our scheduled departure. We unloaded our luggage and took it to the waiting area. We then go into the Amtrak station office and get our printed tickets that had been previously ordered over the internet.

My dad had previously taken me on a train trip when I was a boy, so the excitement of three generations sat down on a bench out by the track awaiting the train. We were all amazed at the Burlington Northern and Santa Fé freight trains passing on the tracks of the train yard. We laughed and talked while trying to guess what cargo was hidden in each box car. We viewed steel pipes, tractors, lumber and military equipment being shipped and wondered where they all came from and where they were going. It was a great time, just all us boys watching trains.

11:10 AM and we hear the whistle blow. I tell my dad I bet it is our train and that its ten minutes early. Sure enough, around the bend we see the engine lights. The train consisted of three coach cars, the lounge/snack bar car, diner car, and two sleeper cars, all pulled by a single General Electric P42 engine. I tell my son that we will be in a sleeper, and that once we are on the train, we can move about the train after we get settled in our roomette.

The train comes to a stop and the attendant opens the gate to the tracks. There were about thirty people lined up to board the train. I show my tickets to the attendant and he takes us to the first sleeper car and helps us aboard. He then takes our bags and puts them in the luggage area and directs us up the stairs to our roomette, which is number nineteen.

Once aboard, the train starts to move forward and I can see the excitement in my son’s face. My son asks to go explore and I say okay, but be back in about fifteen minutes. Later, my son shows up grinning ear-to-ear stating that the train is cool…I can tell from this point that it is going to be a fun and enjoyable trip.

A few hours later puts us in Fort Worth, Texas. Lunch is being served so we head to the diner car for a bite to eat. We are seated in a newly designed diner car, very stylish with relaxing shades of blue. Our waitress is named Jane and she is very lively. We talk with her and found out she is from St. Louis, Missouri and will be serving us all the way to Chicago. My son orders the Black Angus hamburger and I order the Texas barbecue sandwich. No complaints on the food or the service and we look forward to eating dinner later that evening. While eating, we pass by the new Dallas Cowboys stadium in route to Dallas.

After lunch and back in our roomette, my son and I gaze out the window and talk about the towns as we travel through them, wondering what the people who live there are doing. We play with all the knobs on the wall, seeing what they do. We adjust the seats, pull out the table and wonder how the seats fold down into a bed and how the top bed bunk folds down. After playing with all that, we head to the lounge car and go down the stairs to the snack bar where we get some soft drinks, then go back up the stairs and set in the lounge car. We are now currently traveling through the east Texas pine forest and we spot deer in a power line right-of-way.

“Unbelievable” according to my son, he never thought it would be this neat. God made all this neat stuff and we should praise him for it.

Dinner time arrives and we pull into Marshall, Texas. We talk with Jane again and find out the chef’s special for the evening was St. Louis style dry ribs with barbecue sauce…that makes things simple, ribs all the way around. The Marshall stop is slightly extended as we wait for a new train crew to change out with the current train crew, which will then take us on to Chicago.

After dinner we head to the lounge car and select a table where we can play Farkel. Farkel is a dice game similar to Yahtzee, but far more fun. We play a couple of hours and then head back to our roomette for the night. I folded down the seats and got the lower bed situated for me, then I dropped down the top bed bunk and my son climbed up in…lights out for the night.

We wake up around 6:30 AM to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. We each took a shower and got dressed. “Good morning y’all; good to see you again this morning…” states Jane. During breakfast, the train pulls into St. Louis, Missouri and after a short stop at the station, we begin to cross the mighty Mississippi river. What a sight to see, especially from a train window.

My son amazed at the big, high bridge that we would be crossing. “Dad” he says, “I hope the train doesn’t run off the track”…he was a little nervous, but excited as well.

After crossing, we start our last stretch of rails up to Chicago. Illinois has beautiful farm land, like pictures out of a movie. I find it interesting about the train stations as we travel further north; they seem to be more ‘real’…of course, I guess many people use the train as more of a public transit system than they do in the south.

1:22 PM we pull into Union Station in Chicago, a good thirty minutes before the scheduled arrival time. The first train adventure with my son, what a thrill it was!

Have a you taken a train ride with your son? Consider ditching the car during the Holiday Season and take in the sights.

It’s the smell of gunpowder and oil. The touch of cold metal to the skin. The power felt when a firearm is pressed against your chest.

There is a good chance your son will like this.

Every boy should know how to safely handle a firearm. Even more, he should experience a hunt.

- Why should my son know how to shoot a firearm?
- Isn’t that dangerous?
- Are you certain he needs to know this?

Yes. Here is why we feel that way.

• To remove the mystique about guns. When you do not understand how something works, you tend to over or under-estimate its purpose and use.
• Safety. There is a high chance he will handle a firearm in his life. What if this happens around friends without adult supervision? What if this happens when he is alone and no one is there?
• Appreciation. Your son should have a respectful fear of firearms. They are not toys and have the power to kill. He needs to be taught a great respect for their potential.
• Help Others. If your son finds himself in a situation with a person who is not handling a firearm safely, he may be the very person who saves someones life, if not his own.
• To prepare him for hunting sportsmanship.

Step 1: Determine his maturity.

In our home, we have boys that range from ages 5-11. Determine by using both his age and level of listening. Listening is key. If he has a very short attention span and does not listen well, then teaching him a serious topic may be ineffective.

Step 2: Set aside a time free from distractions.

Power down the smart phone. Close the door. Baton down the hatches. This is a serious topic that needs no potential for distraction. Make the time seem very serious, because it is. For my older sons (Age 7, 9, 11) they will listen well when in a one-on-one setting, free from distractions. I can teach so much more and make my points better than any case with distractions.

Step 3: Get your game plan.

This topic may take more than one session and should be refreshed every hunting season. Pick 3 of the most basic and critical safety skills from the list below or from another reputable source of firearm safety. If you do more than 3 points, there is the risk that he will forget them. The others could be discussed in your next one-on-one session.

• Treat every firearm with the same respect you would show a loaded gun. Always, always, always.
• Always point the muzzle/firearm in a safe direction.
• Explain where the safety is and that it is critical to keep the firearm on safety.
• When picking up or holding a firearm, never keep your finger on the trigger, even when on safety unless preparing to fire/discharge the weapon.
• Carry the firearm in a safe way when walking by observing where people in your group are or the direction of the closest house/barn/object where people could be.

Step 4: Do it and practice.
Teaching him the points are not enough. He needs to practice what you have taught him. Let him hold the firearm and walk him through what you are trying to explain. Make sure you do this with no ammunition in the weapon and visually check the barrel to make sure that no ammunition is in the barrel. You can never be too safe with a firearm!

• Worked. Getting alone in a room and letting them hold the rifle and practice walking with it and pointing it. Boys love to touch stuff and they learn better this way. Plus, it feels very soldier like.
• Worked. Having a Hunters Education guide on hand with pictures to help explain my points. This worked well in showing that this is not just dad saying these things, but that entire books and courses are devoted to firearm safety.
• Didn’t Work. Talking too much without showing pictures. When I lecture on and on, they get bored. In hindsight, sharing a story from my own experience or using the pictures in the book more would help keep the attention. Any more minutes than their age and mine start to get lost. For example, I have 7 minutes with my 7-year-old before he starts to wonder.
• Didn’t Work. Walking inside a bedroom to practice. They would much rather do this in a patch of woods or in the backyard. Just be mindful of your neighbors and local laws.

Resources

ManBuilders highly recommends reviewing the many resources available on this topic before starting with your son. Get started with the resources below.

Parents Guide to Gun Safety

Gun Safety At Home

10 Commandments of Firearm Safety

International Hunter Education Association

State Fish & Game Information

So how do you teach firearm safety in your home? Would you teach your son(s) this topic even if you do not own or keep a firearm in the home?

Important Information: This article is not intended to give an exact prescription for firearm safety. Please follow all local laws and consult other reputable sources of information in addition to this article before teaching your son firearm safety. ManBuilders recognizes and respects the opinions of people and organizations who do not advocate hunting or the use of firearms. We further acknowledge the danger associated with this activity and believe safety related concerns to be valid. ManBuilders may not be held liable for actions taken as a result of this article.

Who has the time to know your neighbors? Teach your son to know his neighbors with National Night Out!

We are not experts, just parents.

Back in “the day” people knew their neighbors. That day must have been more than a few yesterdays ago because I don’t remember it.

Lets be real. I’m busy. You are busy. Everybody is busy with something to do other than go introduce yourself to your neighbor. So you missed the opportunity to bring milk and cookies when that family moved-in four houses down. Here is your chance!

But wait, there is a bonus. The National Night Out program normally involves local firefighters, police, and even community leaders.

So, why does your son need to go?

• Improve his social skills by helping him meet the kids down the street.
• Help him understand that police are there to protect him.
• Give him the chance to see a really cool firetruck.
• Enjoy some food. (No brainer for a boy)

Our Experience

The ManBuilders crew walked a hearty 1/10 mile, 8 houses down, and visited with a host family in College Station, TX. The South Brazos County Fire Department was on hand to meet with the children and show off their cool gear and trucks. Hot dogs, potato salad, and chips were around to make it feel even more like a 4th of July event in America.

The children and parents had the opportunity to meet people that we had always “seen’, but never taken the time to meet and introduce ourselves. Parents exchanged information and pointed to their homes. “So which house is yours” was the common question of the night and people were more than comfortable sharing.

Connections were made. Boys met other people that weren’t so weird after-all.

Our boys:

• Made new friends
• Met their friends parents
• Got sick from eating food and then running
• Ran down the middle of the road (it was blocked off) for the first time in their life without Dad screaming at them to get out of the road
• Put on firefighter gear
• Sat in a firetruck
• Honked the firetruck horn and made a baby cry

So what if I’m not American

Our experience was one way of developing social skills and learning to value your neighbors. This is not the only way. Hot dogs and potato salad does not apply to every culture or country, nor does the National Night Out program. If you don’t know your neighbors, consider contacting your local Law Enforcement Agency and ask them if there are any events in your area for your community. Alternatively, consider taking your son to meet with the neighbors who live closest to you. Limit this to a maximum of two to three neighbors to start. Take this time to enjoy something in your culture with them.

National Night Out Information

• Register to host and event
• Find a location
• FAQ’s on the National Night Out website

Do you know your neighbors? How are your son(s) social skills in meeting new people or people he “knows” but never had the courage to introduce himself to? How was your National Night Out if you participated in one?

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Don’t let your son be dealt a bad hand – Teach Him to Play Cards with ManBuilders!

We are not experts, just parents.

Will he survive if he doesn’t learn to play cards? Of course. Teach him anyway!

Do you…

• Like to play cards?
• Like to sit around and talk a bunch of nothing?
• Like to wear that silly green hat?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then its time to get out the deck and teach your son to play!

Consider first the right card game to teach your son.  Think this one through based on his attention span, how much he likes non-electronic games (vintage index), and his age.

Get Started – Teach Him to Shuffle

Teach him how to shuffle the cards. This may turn out to be the funnest part for your son. Why? Boys love to touch stuff. Seriously! There is a world of psychology behind this that we will not delve into today, but you know it is true. Each time you play a card game with him, let him shuffle.

The Art of Manliness has an excellent article, How to Shuffle A Deck of Cards: An Illustrated Guide (Illustrated by Ted Slampyak) with very clear instructions if you do not already know how to shuffle. This is one of the best and coolest looking illustrations I have seen. I highly urge you to check this article and leave feedback for the Art of Manliness team. You could also show your son this illustration before you start so he can see it. Boys not only like to touch stuff, but they are very often visual learners.

Tips for You

1. Be Patient. Depending on his age, he has the potential to interrupt you a hundred times. This is frustrating.  Fight the urge to be cranky.
2. Repeat, then Repeat. He will not understand the game at first. Explain the rules of the game kindly to him over and over. What works for me is to show my cards and see his cards for the first four or five games.
3. Don’t Gamble. This is up to you, but in my house we do not gamble or play games of chance for taking another person’s resources. True, this could make it seem more exciting. However, do something else at the end of the game like a snack or a high-five if he wins. In our house, we do the fist bump.
4. Switch Games. If he just doesn’t “get it” or cannot be still, switch games! Don’t ride the horse until it collapses. You could always find another game or show him one online that will peak his interest if it is too hard or he lacks an adequate attention span.
5. Make Something Wild for Him. If you stick to the rules, it might be too much for him. Consider making one two cards like the Queen or Ace wild just for him. This will give him an advantage over you and make him more interested. Come on, he really wants to win so let him get some wins under his belt.

Teach Your Older Son to Play Smart

My high school math teacher, Mrs. Nona Sue Smith, told me that the “lottery was a game for people who couldn’t do math”. Poker can be that way too. If you are teaching him to play Poker, show him how he should not always go for the “straight flush”, but that there are several lesser hands that would be a good move. Checkout the Wolfram-Alpha widget below to see the statistics behind the hands so he understands the value of playing it safe.

Schedule It

If he likes to play cards, then schedule it! Put this on your calendar for one Saturday a month or some random night. Make sure you choose the game that he likes. Playing cards is a great activity for having discussions with your son on what is going on in his world. Once he learns how to play the game and you stop spending your time teaching him how to play, use this time to listen to what is going on in his life. This is an opportunity to Earn the Right to Be Heard.

Video Resources

There are a tremendous amount of free resources available for playing cards on the internet including this starter video.

In our house, Crazy Eights is the game of choice for my boys. It is easy to play, fast moving, and you could make something wild before your start. Checkout the video below to get started.

 Online Text Resources

List of Patience Card Games

Get Started with Card Games and their Histories

How-To: Throw Playing Cards

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Boys enjoy shooting at things! So how do you keep him and others alive?

You have entertained the idea of buying your son a BB, Pellet, Airsoft, or even a .22 rifle. There are mixed emotions in your mind. Not sure of what to do, you do nothing.

So what’s holding you back?

• Guns are dangerous.
• He can’t be trusted with a gun.
• He might shoot somebody.
• He might shoot himself.

Answer: Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes.

You should still consider buying him a BB/Pellet gun if he is mature enough. You will know when he is ready.

• Teach him gun safety.  You can take him to a Hunters Education Class or have him read the National Rifle Associations BB Gun Safety Section, but don’t forget to teach him yourself. Spending time with your son showing him safe methods of carrying, loading, and aiming are precious moments. He will not forget this time.
• Show him you trust him, after he proves it. He can’t be trusted to be alone with the BB/Pellet gun at first. You may decide that he can never shoot it without your presence and that is fine. Make sure you do things that show him that you recognize his growth and maturity if he is worthy of it. For example, once he has shown that he will hold the gun safely during practice, let him walk with it and compliment him when he displays safety. Boys long for their Father’s approval and trust, so give it to him if he deserves it.
• Expect to be on duty. Yes, he could shoot somebody or even you. However, if you are there with him and safety has been clearly explained then this will likely not happen. Don’t let him be alone at first (or ever depending on your beliefs) and expect to be on duty observing his actions to determine the level of maturity.

Safety Tips for Him

1. Always keep the gun unloaded until you are ready to shoot either a single shot or series of shots.
2. Always keep the gun pointed in a safe direction.
3. Never point the gun at another person.
4. Always know what is behind your target.
5. Never put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to fire.
6. Always wear eye protection.
7. Never run with the gun.
8. Always keep the gun on “safety” until you are ready to fire.
9. Teach him to assume that ALL guns are loaded. Just because you take the magazine out, does not mean that a BB/Pellet is not in the chamber.

Safety Tips for You

1. Don’t let him have the gun in his bedroom alone. Store the gun in your gun safe or in a secret location away from him. It is ok if you feel different, but I sleep better at night knowing where every gun in the home is and that I alone have access.
2. Don’t let him shoot the gun unless you are with him until he is very mature.
3. Don’t get upset at him when he makes a mistake. Expect him to make mistakes. This is how he learns.

We at Manbuilders recognize the sensitivity around gun’s and acknowledge the countless tragedies. Further, we also acknowledge that many parents do not own or advocate owning guns. We respect these beliefs and recognize those positions.

It is our belief that when exercising safety, caution, and involvement with your son when using a BB/Pellet gun that the risk for injury is greatly reduced, giving an opportunity to spend quality time together.

The feedback on this topic will be varied. We encourage you to contribute if you have meaningful information that will help other parents to safely train their son(s) to use guns safely. Please avoid using the comments for this topic to promote anti-gun sentiment and keep it positive.

We are not experts, just parents.

Boys love to go fishing with dad! That’s great, but I nearly lost my mind.

• I’m caught in the weeds dad.
• I lost my bait, again.
• I’m caught in a tree.
• Cast out, wait 2.5 seconds, cast out, wait 2.5 seconds.

You know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, then you will.

So what’s the problem? Shouldn’t you take your son fishing, but expect to do some fishing yourself? After a long week at work, don’t parents deserve it?

Answer: Yes, but you need a plan or you will go crazy.

In our experience, and it is not over, there are some approaches that work and some that do not. The approach will depend on your son(s) personality type, age, and skill level.

Here are some ways I have dealt with the fishing trip.

• Have lots of bait. Expect that your son is going to lose his bait on casting or getting hung up on trees about every other cast. So do some math. 2 hours of fishing = roughly 30-40 casts by your son. That’s right. Unless he is mature enough to keep your hook in the water, he will not wait longer than a few minutes in the water. Therefore, buy twice the amount of bait that you would normally take or buy cheap fake bait.
• Let him play with the live bait. Oh yeah. Teach him not to be afraid of touching worms, minnows, shad, or whatever you are using for bait. Get him used to touching creepy crawly things. His future wife may thank you for it and helps to make him tough.
• Expect to be on duty. Yes, you deserve a break. No, you might not be able to take one. If fishing alone, sitting in the chair or wading out on your own and relaxing would work. However, he will need you to re-hook his line, untangle, and help with bait if he is a little shy with the bait.
• Bring a friend.  Your son needs to be around other men who can be a good example to him. Ask a friend to come along so he can help with re-hooking, untangling, and baiting to give you a little break and score some fishing time.
• He might not be very outdoorsy, so don’t push it.  Yes, there are boys and men who are not into the outdoors. They don’t enjoy fishing and are not real excited about being there. If he has been exposed to video games or other flashy objects then fishing may not be exciting for him. He should still go fishing to experience the outdoors and take part in having time with his Dad, but don’t push it on him. If he is older than 8 and definitely does not like fishing, but you do, bring him anyway and give him something fun to do.
• Have Good Conversations. Get into his world. There are much fewer distractions when fishing. Checkout the conversation starters at the All Pro Dad website to have some ideas on how to get into his world and make him talk.

So how do you fish with your son and not go crazy? Any great examples or practices that works for you and your son?